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Style:
Hitchhikers, Babblers, and Jaw Flappers
Be careful of the following words: they
gather other words around them, making your prose vague and rambling.
Stretchy words:
type unless it's The New York Times
Large Type Cookbook, printed in large type. Don't say "It's The New
York Times Large Type-type cookbook."
to be as in "They thought him to
be a jerk."
different as in "many
different"
separate as in "each
separate"
cause as in "cause
corruption" instead of "corrupt"
individual students for students
use as in "The use of alcoholic
beverages is not allowed on the premises." (translation: "No
Drinking Allowed.")
particular as in "This
particular idea was good."
respect as in "The respect in
which I find Amherst better than Williams is its location."
(translation: "Amherst's location makes me prefer it to
Williams.")
case as in "In the case of
Amherst, I find it better than Williams," or "The nature of
the case suggests that Lucy was bitten by Dracula." (translation:
"The toothmarks on Lucy's neck show that Dracula has bitten
her.")
Stretchy phrases:
With regard to...
As far as _____ is concerned...
In the matter of...
Needless to say...(don't say it, then)
Due to the fact that...
At this point in time...(a Watergator)
(evil) in nature
(good) in kind
in order to (go right to the infinitive)
is in the process of being (is being, or is)
It is _____ that _____
various and sundry
is able to (try "can")
in terms of
by way of
provides a vehicle to show or
uses the vehicle to reveal (vehicles go, not show; go right to
"show" or "reveal")
It is my opinion that...(go ahead and say it)
indeed (often a weak verbal substitute for a rap on the table)
exhibits a tendency to (try "tends," or go to the main verb)
avail oneself of (try "use," "get," or
"obtain")
make an attempt (try "try")
Dead adjectives and
adverbs:
These words fill sentences with
crackling static:
personal favorite
fundamental truth
true fact
necessary requirement
resounding commitment
gradually diminish
very (often useless as an intensifier; try a stronger adjective)
progressively improve
personal confession
Try to develop the habit of not taking
words for granted. Listen to your words to find the strongest points of
a sentence, then amplify those points by clearing away the crackle.
A hilarious passage from a letter to the
editor of a local newspaper contains many of the redundancies listed
above, plus a few malapropisms and gridlocks of word order. The writer
is trying to say that he and other local officials are trying to clean
up a polluted lake:
...Now that apologies have been
exchanged on clearing this point, it seems appropriate to consider
preening out the remainders of the, if you can pardon the expression,
other ruffled feathers. This was with regard to a distinct and uncanny
absence of any of my several comments on local efforts.
These included the mention of a
committee appointed at Town Meeting to be comprised of representatives
from nearly every town board to further specifically facilitate the
tackling of safety and pollution difficulties at the lake and a
resounding commitment by Lake Association members to urge motor boat
owners to, after using, pull their engines from the waters to diminish
further oil drippings as well as a vow from the gateman to do his best
to keep waters flowing over the dam to drain the lake.
Rough translation:
I want to clear up another point
about local efforts to clean up pollution. At Town Meeting,
representatives from local town boards formed a committee to investigate
safety and pollution problems. Lake Association members voted to ask
motor boat owners to pull engines from the waters when they dock their
boats, and the gateman promised to keep waters flowing over the dam to
drain the lake.
Passive Voice
Intransitive Verbs
Too Many Little Words
Adverbitis
Hitchhikers, Babblers, and Jaw-Flappers
Windy and Pretentious Language
Balance and Consistency
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